Donnie T. wipes butt with DACA policy, makes Sessions do the flushin’.

 

U.S.

Sheeeesh.

*Another Donnie T. evasion/detraction/falsification/fabrication/distortion/prevarication – insert any or all to describe his misleading rhetoric over those young boys and girls we call the “Dreamers.” Well old Donnie said he has “love for those people” and “they’ll be alright.” Whats next? Is he gonna say that he hasn’t already given their names to ICE and they shouldn’t worry too much about a strange knock on the door in the next few months that it’s probably that dude from the Publishers Clearing house wanting to give them a million dollars? Yeah right. Sorry dreamers…I truly am. I apologize for the low-life cretinous slug running, or better yet, ruining our country.  Paenitemus meum young dreamers…

*Hey, spineless Southern Flannel Moth Jeff Sessions! Grow some dude. Remember when Donnie T. called you “weak” and “beleaguered”??? Yeah, I know you heard him Seshy…swingin’ from the proverbial potus sack can’t be paying all that good. Time to cause a ruckus my man. Reach down into that bottomless cavern where your soul resides and at least try and retrieve your pride. The fine white supremacists that put you in the Senate to begin with are counting on ya…Donnie T.’s fine people are counting on ya…don’t drop yer hood just yet…better yet, just crawl away. Go back to the senate where you can at least reclaim your crown of “Most racisty of all the racist senators.” On a side note. Did you know the larva form of the Southern Flannel Moth is the “Puss Caterpillar?” Just sayin’…

World

*Hey! Kim Jong Un! Don’t do it! Don’t do it my man! Don’t shave the sides of your head up any higher! I’m tellin’ you…it’s starting to look a little 1990’s white boy rapper-ish. And we all know it’s still hard to take those dudes serious. I mean, Vanilla Ice had to start remodeling houses and shit. Wouldn’t be a good look if you had to go out and dig trenches in Pukchang. The commons might take notice, eh? OUT: That high and tight flat mop Wally Cleaver wanna-do. IN: Grow them shits out a little, comb it to the side and rock a proper ‘do…let’s call it a “rational” man’s ‘do, shall we. Seriously, just think about it…and quit fucking around with those bombs! Shit is gettin’ real, and Donnie T. get’s nervous when it’s real. It’s like when Donnie has a rally and like the crowd size is too small, but he says it’s real big, then starts feeling around in his pants a little bit, then says like, them shits is huge…like that but with bombs, or whatever. Knock that shit off.

*Permafrowned gulagsexual Vlady Putin got his mankini all up in a bunch over the weekend. When a reporter asked about his relationship with Donnie T., V-laddy replied that Trump was “not my bride, likewise, I am neither his bride nor bridegroom.” Sounds like someone is a little insecure? Shocking from a man who likes long slow horseback rides on the beach, shirtless, with other dudes. Seriously, you see any chicks in any of those horseback ridin’ shirtless Vlady photos? Me neither.  How about it V? You and Donnie T., horseback…tandem, shirtless…the cool breeze off the tundra blowing in your…well Donnie’s hair. Reminiscing of last year when you secretly ordered the “special tea” served to Litvinenko and Nemtsov…sounds like a mancrush to me…

Entertainment

*Who the fuck cares…I’m gettin’ a beer. Until man yana hombros…

-Russ T-Bird

 

 

 

 

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