Weekend Rehash – Donnie T. steps in the doody…again.

US:

Tweeter twit in chief Donnie T. brought out his tremendous bafoonery once again this weekend when referencing the post-apocalyptic scene in Puerto Rico. As the island sits in the dark with no power or water Mr. Misogyny barked tweet after tweet slamming the mayor of San Juan about her “lack of leadership” as she simply begs for help to the citizens of her city and country.  When Donnie T. was asked if it was like him calling the kettle black, he responded: “I don’t like kettles, never have. They are lazy, they don’t work, and who needs boiled water anyway, sad.”

Secretary of State, sexy Rexy “T-Dawg” Tillerson, suddenly looking like the voice of reason in a shithouse full of cackling morons, announced his diplomacy efforts with North Korean leader and baby gorilla double, Kim Jong Un. Tillerson proclaimed he had a direct line of communication with the supreme imbecile, and was working on easing tensions between the US and North Korea. In a statement that shocked nobody, Donnie T. told Tillerson not to waste his time as a voice in the background could be overheard saying, “mwahh ahh ahh.” Apparently Donnie T. was on a playdate with Count Chocula.

SPORTS

Football players were all up in a protesty mood last weekend as teams held hands, locked arms, and got on their knees. On a side not, Harvey Fierstein watched his first football game ever.

The baseball season finally ended this weekend after fourteen years.

The US won the utterly unprestigious “President’s Cup” golf matches against a bunch of no name dudes from other countries. Donnie T. was on hand with a list of names to deliver to ICE…just in case.

ENTERTAINMENT

Donnie T. got a good skewering on the season premiere of Saturday Night Live with that little Ryan Goslensss hosting. The opening monologue was great, from what I hear…eight Rainiers, a snifter of Broker’s and a little pinwheel jointer and the T-Bird was checking the conditions on the blackout train.

Whew…another weekend in the books…I need a beer…

-Russ T-Bird

 

 

 

 

 

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